profile2The New York Stock Exchange was quiet this morning. I couldn’t really get a trade off as I saw that the market had thinned out considerably once the opening bell rang. I’m not sure if people just don’t like committing money early in the day or they just sincerely think it’s better to wait for some type of news thing.  I’m starting to wonder whether or not playing the news is the new norm. Speaking of which, when word of the tomahawk missile launch hit my twitter feed last night, I bolted right up from my couch to my dining room where I keep my laptop to get short. I was thinking that this was gonna be an easy short but in the end, the market wasn’t as woozy as I thought it was gonna be and I cut out of the trade for a handful of ticks on no size.

This morning though was different as there was a little bit of action in the market but not enough where it was moving the way I wanted it to move. So I decided that instead of waiting on my protective stops to be hit, I just went ahead and flattened myself out – I immediately regretted it. The market would then proceed to move down 12 more ticks and I literally sat there hoping that it would bleed back up to where I went flat. It did but at that point, I just decided to call it a day before some sinister force in me would take hold of my finger and click the Sell Market button.

This lead me to thinking about taking the wheel and just letting things go for what they’re gonna do. At the end, we’re all in it for profits and the more the merrier. But we just don’t have control over the markets. We can only make a profit or protect capital. I don’t know how I really feel about it except to say that I kind of wish that I just left it alone.

It particularly stings because I had taken a trade on Cocoa that just didn’t work out from the get go. There’s nothing more to be said about it than the fact that I just didn’t make the right assessment. What hurts more though is that the loss was on size. And what triply hurts with the cherry on top is that this was on a Friday. I don’t know about other traders but when I go into the weekend negative, that really sets the tone for my state of mind. I’m not gonna turn into a raging killer or anything like that but my mood is a tiny bit different and all I’m thinking about from Friday afternoon to Sunday 17:00 is that big fat red number on the daily PnL. It doesn’t really matter to me if the rest of the week was positive. I’d rather lose on any other day, just not on a Friday because you lose both capital and momentum.

Well, the day is over for me so there’s no point in getting all riled up. I’m lucky that I have a weekend to even look forward to so I just look at things from that perspective. To be able to have the time to type out these thoughts on a clutter-free dining room table in a clutter-free dining room looking out the window at a beautiful spring day…I’m just lucky. I really am because of the man upstairs.

Now all I gotta do is not look where the Nasdaq ended up going. I want to own my market experience, I don’t want the market experience to own me.

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