The New York Stock Exchange opened with the energy that I’ve been yearning for since God-knows-when. These are the types of opens that crush wayward positions and causes eyeballs to bleed. These opens are like getting in the ring with a young Mike Tyson after calling him ugly or standing in the Chernobyl uranium tower while everyone is running away. The breadth and depth – and danger of these opens are where the money is made. This is what I live for; this is what epic movie soundtracks are made out of – the ones with loud horns and deep bass aka Conan The Barbarian stuff.
It was just too bad that with all that, I only covered commissions on the day.
I’ll explain what happened.
First, let me preface by saying this was all my fault.
The fiancée and I are having relatives over because it’s late April and we’re firing up the grill. I wanted them to come later like 11am because I want the mornings to myself. But in true relatives fashion they come over at 9am because they want to hang out at the house. Whatever. The thing is, I’m used to trading at my dining room table (not a good practice but like journeyofarookie says, I need to find out WHY I do this in order to improve as a trader) in the morning. I don’t get any disturbances and overall I prefer it compared to the home office.
So it’s like 9:27 and one of my relatives asks me this dumb question; it’s so dumb I don’t even remember what the gist of it was. I answer him in a curt way but in my mind I’m like “hey douche! i’m doing something here – shut up!”. In retrospect, I should have told him outright I was busy but I didn’t (therein lies another mistake). Then while all the action of the opening bell is happening and I’m trying to get a hold of the market, someone opens the refrigerator door and shouts really loud: “hey where’s the beer?”. Of course, this happened as I was pressing keys and getting ready to hit enter to place an order. And of course, once I’m completely distracted – the order goes through. You can only imagine the anger that coursed through my veins at that point.
I needed to get out of the bad position and I did. I really wanted to get back in the market at that point and I was looking real hard for an excuse but I knew deep down I’d just be revenge trading for the loss I knew I incurred. I didn’t know just how much I lost yet but I knew because I was short and the market zipped upwards that I got kicked in the face. So I’m really looking hard for a trade but in the end, I just say “fuck it” and let it all just go. By this time, I’m really disappointed in my relatives and all I want to do is just go upstairs, play Halo in private for the next 5 hours while vegging out on potato chips.
I don’t like distractions because I don’t want to lose a day of trading. If I lose a day of trading, then I lose a day to make potential money. My fiancée knows this – and because she likes to shop (within reason), she knows not to disturb me between 9am and 10am. This fact seems to be lost on other people. But like I said, this is something I alone should be taking responsibility for.
Thankfully, what ended up happening was that in the confusion of all these complaining voices as the market was going on, I inadvertently and unexplainably pressed the wrong number key or maybe my pinky hit it first or something, for contracts that I wanted to trade. The result was that even though I got kicked around, I only got kicked around on no size at all (4 ticks on 1 YM contract). So when I finally focused on what my final PnL number was, it was red alright but it wasn’t the curl-into-a-fetal-position-because-you’re-stupid red. That is true and unadulterated Luck as well as the way that the man upstairs is telling me that I have to manage distracting factors around the house better.
But as I was saying before, I wanted to refer to journeyofarookie’s blog about asking WHY about everything and anything.
Why is it that I like trading in the dining room – and on the dining room table? Thinking about it now, I think it is because the dining room is a lot more airy with space to just jump and spread my arms and just – breathe. It’s not a semi-cockpit like my office desk. In addition, the presence of aesthetic textures such as the dark wood on my dining room table (which is truly adore) and the light blue of the kitchen cabinets (the fiancée picked it out) and of course, the sun coming in the window just makes the whole atmosphere so positive and inviting. Maybe it’s just the presence of natural light that makes me feel like I want to work here and that this is a pleasant place to let my ideas flow. The funny thing is, our townhouse isn’t even big, it’s in a very old development – like 1980’s old. It’s just that the fiancée was adamant about light, fresh flowers, aesthetics and modernization. So maybe that’s my answer…I need a ton of natural light, flowers and engaging textures in space to relax me as I trade – or maybe my true calling is as an interior designer.
That was a pretty interesting exercise. I will go forth and ask more whys about my day.
However, getting back to the nitty-gritty of this trading blog. I am upset. I am upset that I lost money today. No matter how small the loss is, it’s still a loss and I HATE losses. I hate them so much that it makes my blood boil. I’m not a good loser and I never will be. Never ever. But I do thank God that I didn’t lose badly today. I tried trading the British Pound during the London session last night and that ended up being a scratch so today was just kind of a nothing day.
However, it goes to say that the main lesson of this trading session is this: DO NOT TRADE IN A PLACE WHERE RELATIVES ARE WITHIN EARSHOT DISTANCE
I’ll just go and prep the grill for the afternoon – but not before I send those knuckleheads to pay for and get the cooking charcoal.