profile1The New York Stock Exchange was already up some 150 points when I logged in this morning so I was expecting good action going into the open. And there was good action, it was great but I couldn’t get a lot of ticks out of it because after the initial shakes and the pullback that drew everybody short, the market would continue its upward trajectory and basically leave everyone in the dust. I scalped a couple of trades during this upturn but there just wasn’t space for me to operate as I was faked out a multitude of times. It’s also worth noting that today I felt like I should limit my risk due to the nature geopolitical influences.

The day pretty much wore on with me taking small losses on all of my trades save for one which was a break-even. I pretty much bombed today. I’m not happy with it at all given how I feel about red numbered PnLs. I’m just glad that I made quick decisions and that I was aware and conscious of what I was doing even at the speed of the market. The other thing was that being small in relative risk really helped me out today. Even though my daily limit wasn’t hit, my habits regarding size really helped to conserve capital for tomorrow’s trading session and that’s where I’ll try and get back the money I lost today. Still, I don’t want to sound like I’m having these “breakthrough” moments or anything like that because at this stage in the game, I need to know what the heck I’m doing as it’s not only my future that’s at stake but the family that the fiancée and I will have (she’s not preggers but I’m just sayin’). Anyway, I’m not gonna be a good loser about things. I’m ready to come out and kick ass in tomorrow’s session because that’s what I’m all about.

I was actually thankful when I woke up this morning. Yesterday, I was really feeling like crap and there was a tightening in my chest. Today, I ate real healthy with the exception of some coffee. I had haddock which is this fish that falls apart like a wet toilet paper as soon as you even touch it. I’ll give it to the fiancée, she can whip up a good meal. Along with the haddock, I also had some rice pilaf which made the overall meal pretty damned satisfying. But back to being thankful that I woke up, I have no idea why there was a tightening in my chest and honestly, like I said in my last post, I’m paranoid as hell that this could be a sign of a heart attack or a stroke. I keep going back to those times when I saw the clickbait headlines of “3 Things That Happen Before You Have A Stroke” and “You’re Going To Have A Heart Attack If….”. I feel like I’m living on borrowed time and this is why I’m so nutso about squeezing every minute out of everyday doing something that I enjoy. I am also the type of person that doesn’t like to waste time and I’ve become really sensitive about being prompt. I’m like a control freak with that now.

Anyway, speaking of time. Since I wrote this post so late in the day, I’m actually digging into time I have allotted for other things; like grocery shopping and…well, I don’t know. But I know that there are other things somewhere I haven’t thought of to do yet. I’m just thankful that I’m still up and breathing and that I had a chance to make money today. I know that it didn’t go well and I’m upset about that, but I gotta move on and be mentally prepared for tomorrow.

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