M8DBOID EC001The New York Stock Exchange started off quietly today. I got a glimpse of pre-market action while I was sipping some hot chocolate in the kitchen so in keeping with tradition from yesterday, I didn’t size up for the open. I did size up on one move and combined with one other trade, that made the difference for today. I wanted to keep my NYSE open trading short because I felt like something was brewing in my stomach. I had one of those gas station food packs yesterday and it may not have been such a smart decision.

So, with the cash open, I felt like I would put myself in an unmanageable hole if I went size right away, and I felt like today’s market was going to be one of those lazy movers so instead of trying to whip some contracts around and hoping that I hit onto a move, I just used a handful of small ones to determine where the possible orders are coming from and what direction they were headed. After some ups and downs on the PnL, I felt like I could take some size and I did. Even though it wasn’t for the kind of ticks that I wanted to take size on, I’m still satisfied. This morning, I took a size trade in Wheat and it worked out in my favor. I wanted to take one more trade on the Euro but I felt like the PnL reflected a good enough workday so I just let it go at that. I feel that sometimes, you only do worse to push your luck irrationally. It’s one thing if a trade is showing you a winner but it’s another thing if you get greedy for more green numbers on the PnL. In my experience that has only led to losses and as you know, I hate losses. In the end, I traded conservatively but I knew when to put up size. I made my decisions quickly and most importantly, I was flexible. This is why I still have an account today. I half don’t give a shit about the green PnL because it’s green. The important thing is that I employed risk management. I’ve been in the business long enough where “success” is just a word and it doesn’t mean anything. I’m just here to keep the score and the score is what’s at the bottom of the DOM and whether the number is green or red. I just try and I expect money everyday, but I also know that I ain’t shit in this game and I have to rely on a huge dollop of luck.

You can see how much I respect this business, don’t you? If not, then please see that I regard it lower than 99% of the homeless population in New York Penn Station – and that’s really saying something about this business.

Nevertheless, I’m thankful that I got out of today with a positive PnL. Trading is tough and it’s really not for the faint of heart or for the incompetent – two qualities that I espouse on most days but still somehow end up positive. Today is going to be the first 90 degree day in the East Coast so I’d like to go out and take the fiancée to lunch on her break. I’ll probably take her to some outside seating restaurant or something – you know, keep the aesthetics nice and bougie so that there’s no complaints that I don’t take her out hehe. I’m just kidding, I love taking her out. This is just my long winded way of saying that I appreciate that I can even do this for her and for me as well. To be able to enjoy the day without worrying about the stupid PnL is a blessing in and of itself and it only comes when you completely refuse to take the stupidity of the capital markets. I’m thankful to the man upstairs for giving me that realization. We are valuable beings and there’s no room for something as stupid as trading to attack our sense of self worth and self-esteem. For now, I’ve logged out of the market and told it to suck camel balls.

I’ve got a whole day ahead of me to be thankful.

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