The New York Stock Exchange started off well this morning but as I found out, it could not support its own momentum and neither was it in the mood to support whoever decided to get long after the bell. I’m not one to have a bias going into every market open but I felt like the bears were coming out to twerk the market short – and it did. However, we all know what pretty much happened since then.
I put myself in a pretty deep hole quickly and that was pretty much the story of the day. I could not find my footing and thus started this week off in as crappy of a way that I could have possibly started it off. My scalps failed to produce any type of commission beating gain so then I went into trading the YM hoping it would produce some speed on the upside after the short sellers were done with it. Turns out, I had mistimed it and ended up having to cut the trade down 6 plus ticks. Then, in a cruel twist of fate the market just continued up and up. Yeah, it was one of those days. The only other trade that I had available to me was Cocoa and that was pretty much the coup de grace. I had no idea of the direction and I ended up getting pummeled. All these trades were on size so now I’m sitting at my desk typing this post with a troubled brow. This is not the way I want to start the month off neither is this the way that I want to end my day. However, there are times in this stupid retarded business were you have to say enough is enough. I’ve lost all I could lose for this particular session and I might get plowed even further trying to get it back.
So, in keeping with the format of my posts, instead of getting pissed off at everything, I want to reiterate how fortunate I am to be even in the game. Compartmentalization helps in this business because you don’t want the pain of a down day coloring the rest of your daily life. It’s really hard but unless you’re losing every single day, you gotta make an effort to not let things get too personal. Even though I trade, I also have my relationship with my fiancée to look after, I have house stuff to take care of and even though it takes money, there are simpler things like cleaning and tidying up that don’t cost a dime. Besides that, I’m still alive – although barely after this morning. There is some good to life especially when you escape a particularly brutal situation like I did. While the time this morning was to trade the market, the time now is to heal and just get myself mentally ready for the next day. There’s nothing I can do about the capital I just lost, so that’s that. Furthermore, it’s ok to be mad at the market. I never believed in being an accepting loser when then PnL is red – rather, I believe in being a courteous competitor. You just take your lumps and leave. Pride is a very destructive thing and the last thing I want to do is to pit my primitive “intellect” against the collective capital strength of everyone else trading.
It’s just time to let it go.
It’s just time to emotionally gather myself.
It’s time to get Chipotle.