The New York Stock Exchange moved so slow out of the gates. There was nothing that I could do in terms of volatility as I guessed that traders had had enough of digesting news for a while and wanted to take an early Friday. It would have been nice to get some action but saving money in this business is better than losing it or grinding it against commissions. I really felt the pull of wanting to trade and towards the end of my trading day, I was frantically looking for anything that was displaying any type of movement.
I traded extremely light after seeing the cash markets. I tried a medium holding length trade on the NQ as I saw that it had some promise of action but it didn’t really move as much as I needed it to. Then I set my sights on Cocoa and The Euro. Both contracts didn’t move all that much with The Euro taking money from the PnL. I wish I could have taken than trade back but it was my fault for forcing that trade. At the end of the day, after commissions, I ended up with a small loss on the PnL. It was small enough where it didn’t really dent my emotions with this being a Friday, but I do have to repeat that I wish that I didn’t take that Euro trade. I guess it’s going to be another one of those trades that I’ll chalk up to regret.
I had to trade mobile today to accompany the lady to a doctor’s appointment. Nothing serious, just a checkup. It has been a while but I am here at a Barnes & Noble typing this entry. I can’t remember the last time I did this but I think it’s so funny because when I did do it last time everything – and I mean everything was different. I had different tech, different trading experiences, different everything. Well, not everything but there was enough differences that it makes typing here and now kind of humorous. I find it funny when I think about situations like this because as great or as crappy as your situation is now, things change…for the better or for the worse. I hope that it’s not the latter for any of you but it takes me back to things I’ve learned from trend-following traders: trends take a long time to develop and the benefits you see from a trend is like one of those Russian dolls where you open it up and then you see a smaller one and so on and so forth. There are so many things happening on a sub-micro level that propels each level above it. As I’m typing this, I do have a sense of the microscopic changes that are happening that will play a factor in what my future will be like – and it fills me with dread.
But that’s the thing, I was afraid back then too. I was paranoid about what my life was going to be. I’m like a prairie-dog that way and I need to see palpable proof that I’m going to be alright. I am waxing poetic right now because it’s a Friday and I can somewhat afford to take my time and word vomit. However, what I’ve noticed about myself especially these past few months is that I may not be having enough time or space to articulate myself. Sure, I write everyday but I don’t think my writing has any real value. Then again, value is almost subjective in its assignment when it comes to writing. I guess with me, Time is something I often feel like I have to write about and that’s why I was so struck about being here at Barnes & Noble doing something that I did years ago as a younger person with a totally different set of circumstances and priorities.
Anyway, the week is done and thankful to God it was an overall good week and that I was lucky. It was made even better because the rules of capital preservation I set for myself worked out according to their purpose. I like it when my feeble brain makes plans and they somewhat come to fruition.
It gives me enough steadying confidence to attempt home improvement projects that no rational person would ever attempt.
In these cases, my only requirement for absolute victory is that I don’t die.