The New York Stock Exchange came out on the sluggish side again but I felt like there would be some traces of a move. Unfortunately, there were none. I suppose we’ll have to wait for tomorrow to see if the markets have something to give by way of volatility.
If I were to describe my trading today it would be a combination of happiness and being frustrated, thus “happstrated”. After I couldn’t squeeze out anything from the cash open, I had two trades in Orange Juice that lost a little and gained a little so in the end, they cancelled each other out. The real drama came in Feeder Cattle. I made a decent amount of ticks on the contract and the moment I liquidated it, it shot up another 25 or so ticks. I was so sick to my stomach from watching that. So sick, in fact, that I immediately logged off, went to the couch and fell into a deep hole of sleep and sadness. While I made some money because of me being in size, just thinking about the extra 18 or so ticks I could have gotten just made me feel so bad about the trading day.
The thing about this stupid business is that it is hard to have a positive PnL at the end of the day – it really is. People will make it seem like it’s a function of a equals c and if you do b with a little shake of k, you’ll make money. However, trading is never that way. You can do everything right and still sustain a losing day. That’s why for me, I don’t care how I make the money – as long as I do have money when I’m tabulating the final EOD numbers. I don’t mean to be a spoiled brat – even though that’s how I acted in the privacy of my livingroom – I’m just saying that it sucked to be out of the trade when there was so much more money to be netted in.
I am thankful, nay I am grateful that I came out with a positive day. I’m going to give thanks to the man upstairs by being conscientious of my thoughts & actions. I am so fortunate that I have another day in this business and that I can keep trying to make money for the rest of the week.