general-william-tecumseh-shermanThe New York Stock Exchange opened up with a bit of a pop this morning. I suppose it is a fitting end to a 125 point move overnight. I don’t know what sparked this. I read through the market news section of today’s Wall Street Journal and I couldn’t see anything that caught my eye that would be relevant to today’s move. However, I did catch something interesting: some trader bet against the historic volatility low of the VIX implying that he/she believes volatility can only rise from here on out. To many, it would sound like a maverick play but when you think about it, it’s actually a safe bet. We can’t expect volatility to lay sedentary in this strange juncture of political & economic malaise. Something has to give and if I had the money, I’d sure as hell take the same bet. It’s like if EVERYONE is betting on Floyd Mayweather to beat Connor MacGregor (spelling?) this August – if I were a betting man, why would I want to bet along side 98% of them? I’d want high rewards so I’d totally bet on Connor which, by the way, I have a feeling will surprise everyone. Just on a side note, I was still pissed off that the Soulja Boy vs. Chris Brown fight was called off; forget this fight with Floyd, THAT fight was what I wanted to see.

So, as you can surmise by the title, I have literally traded myself into the red again but it wasn’t a complete red. It was more like red post-commissions. I took a trade on Wheat this morning which gave me a respectable amount of ticks: not a lot but had I just stopped there, I would have made out with an OK day. Instead, I ended up negative because of the cash market. I fell victim to the very move that I wanted: sharp and energetic opens designed to disembowel slower traders. The problem was that I was wrong on all counts and the market was very very quick to punish me. Finally, because I worked with a little more size today, I pretty much erased the work I did with Wheat. So, as you can guess, I am not a happy little reptile.

I hate to lose money. I just hate to lose in general. Losing sucks camel ass and as a person that goes into heaving convulsions at the sight of stale potato chips, you know I would rather die than get anywhere near camel ass. I am trying to be a professional about this, as it is the only thing that I can do at this point, but there is also the side of me that is hotter than grandma’s oven when she bakes cookies but impulsively decides to visit her friends on the other side of town to play gin. I can’t articulate the rage but all I know is that it’s there and the only way to get rid of it is to prepare for the next day and try to be better while not letting the rage spill into other aspects of my life. I am thankful though that I didn’t go into revenge trading mode and that the man upstairs has given me enough restraint to put this stupid and retarded business into perspective.

It’s one day.

There were things done right. There were things done wrong.

I am only human. But I can choose to act like a decent human.

There will be tomorrow because I traded professionally.

All I have to do is be grateful for what I have and prepare to make money tomorrow.

 

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