profilepic3The New York Stock Exchange opened with strong order flow this morning. This is the type of conviction and energy wherein people can make money once the market picks its direction. This isn’t to say though that it’s easy. It’s very difficult to get a gauge on the tape once the big orders start to hit. You just have to be there and in the moment. It’s like building IKEA furniture; you think it’s easy and that you can do it in one go within an hour but after putting 4 of those stupid wooden pegs in the wrong holes and having a panel face the wrong way which completely screws up everything else, people have to rethink what they did and study the manual intensely (this has never happened to me, I’m just saying it happened to a relative…of a friend…more than once…or maybe 5 times, but you get the point!)

So there was a good current in the market today, or more like a riptide. It was a slugfest for me as I was down a little bit and I had to really claw myself out, first from PnL Red (that should be a new crayon color), then from the crushing jaws of commission costs, and finally to make some actual cash. I did not trade any other assets today because I just didn’t feel comfortable with both commodities & FX contracts. It was nice, I got to sleep in a little bit instead of waking up at my normal 5am. Additionally, because there was a bit of flow to the markets I didn’t have to step in the ring with size, the price action just sort of did everything for me.

Right now, I’m quite drained. It takes me a little bit of time, depending on how hard I push myself in the trading day, to recover both physically & emotionally. It’s like a mixture of euphoria and relief. I’m so fortunate that the PnL was positive this morning. This business is really difficult and not for the faint of heart – or pocket. To have recovered the way I did is not an ideal way of making money but sometimes, that’s all that you’ve got to go on which is why – to me – being grateful and communicating that to the world is an integral exercise that not only leads to a better you but towards a qualitatively less emotionally crushing market experience.

Again, I’m not smart. I’m present, and I’m fortunate.

That’s what I needed today and for that I am truly grateful.


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