general-william-tecumseh-shermanThe New York Stock Exchange started off sort of well this morning, it did sort of pick a direction and it did sort of file its way towards said direction. I had a much easier time with it considering that I traded outside of my default risk size to counter what I felt would be a low beta kind of day. The low beta prediction, I got right which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. It is “how the market plays itself out” that is the hard part for all traders – not just myself.

I had traded myself into a hole this morning with Feeder Cattle. I just made a really bad read on it. In retrospect, I couldn’t have done anything different but after that trade, I knew it was going to be an uphill struggle. No, actually, I knew today was going to be all about recovering the PnL. In this retarded and fickle business, it’s not all about making money everyday. Many times more than I would care to remember, my work day consists of untangling red PnL numbers. Sometimes, you just have to put the dreams of money aside and make sure that you’ve tried to get back precious capital you’ve lost – but only to a point. Capital is the most important thing in this business – obviously – because once you lose it, you can’t log in and if you can’t log in it doesn’t matter how many good ideas/systems you have because you can’t trade those ideas and even if you can trade chances are your diminished capital base will only add more percentage risk to your overall trade because you can’t afford to lose as much. That is the reality of this dumb business.

I was extremely fortunate that I latched onto a good trade in Orange Juice. However, it was not enough to bring me to break even. I still had a gap to make up and I was hoping that the New York open would help me fill the gap. Even though we had a semi-decent morning there just wasn’t enough action there for me to really recover the PnL beyond commissions. In the end, it was nice to have green numbers on the PnLĀ  but I was beaten by business costs.

The week goes by really fast when you lose two days in a row and it’s easy to just stop processing things and start to get wrapped up in trading. But being in this dumb business for years, I’ve learned that you’ve got to compartmentalize and leave trading to where it belongs; at the office, at the computer, etc. There is a whole day to live and be thankful for. Neglecting it not only amplifies the effects of a bad day but snowballs over into the next. Trading is great and all but like only hanging out with worthless pieces of sh*t acquaintances at bars only, you keep trading away from the rest of your life as much as possible. The best thing that I can do on days like this is act like a decent & professional human being that’s grateful for the blessings that I have.

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