The New York Stock Exchange didn’t move as much as I wanted it to at the market open. I felt like things should trade briskly given that we made a good move yesterday but maybe the sellers are out en masse so it killed whatever momentum we had going in. Still waiting on the final tally and results regarding Hurricane Irma. Turns out there were a lot more of my friends who had family down there as did I. Fortunately, everyone is safe and what looked to be an apocalyptic type blow was reduced to a close call. Of course, this is all relative.
I was able to make a little bit off of the cash open since I limited my plays to the Nasdaq. There was really nothing to say about it other than I did what I needed to do and the market really helped me out by not stuttering too much. In the end, while I did make money I gave back a chunk of it to commissions so I decided to pack it in at that point. Orange Juice finally traded in a way that I was comfortable with and while I was able to make more than 10 ticks there aggregately, I felt like I had left some money on the table. I didn’t want to think about it since it would lead me to a dark place. Instead, I just shut down my computer and called it a day.
I am not sure how to characterize this day. It is a good one PnL-wise there’s no doubt about it but there is nothing like incurring a bunch of mistakes to make us realize that we are not as good and as capable as we think we are. I know that we can still correct the mistakes and I am thankful for that but whenever one of those inner dialogues go off in my mind I can’t help but feel nervous for a future that I have completely no control over and a present that is capable of transforming into anything at any given millisecond. I am a stickler for time – but moreso, a stickler for the quality of time and I think my feelings arise from a nagging sentiment that I am not spending my time properly. Nevertheless, I am really thankful for this day and I am thankful for a host of blessings in my life. I’m just going to try and take it one hour at a time and be as conscientious about things as I can be.