profile 6The New York Stock Exchange traded well in the opening minutes of the day and there were plenty of places to perch your capital from in order to make some money. I have no idea what the heck is going on in the global interplay of capital and politics but I will say that it’s pretty shocking special counsel Mueller is bringing charges to Paul Manaforte and possibly other Trump associates. I don’t know about y’all but this is pretty bad and we’ve seen bad.

Like I said, the cash open was rife with opportunities but I felt like I wasn’t able to take advantage of them in the way that I wanted to – namely with size. Even though I left today’s cash open with a positive PnL it doesn’t take away the sting of what happened on Friday. But before I go into the rest of that, I did also trade Wheat and Cocoa which kind of cancelled each other out but that’s how it is with portfolio management. It wasn’t exactly a winning day but it wasn’t a losing one either.

After Friday’s soul-crushing loss, I took the weekend to really think about my trading. it’s no secret that I am really dissatisfied with my performance but what really gets me is how I feel like the market has become different. The reality is that markets are always changing, it’s cliché I know but they do and the only way our trading can become relevant is if we go with these changes. No one is immune. The only reason big fund managers can afford to be loyal to their programs is because they have the capital to ride through bad periods and even then, they have to answer to their investors at the end. But I’m not here to talk about fund managers – I’m here to talk about me and my experience trading. I wish that I could say I was able to find some type of spark this weekend in what I need to do to trade better but the truth is, I was probably left with more questions than answers. However, I like to think that trading is not as exact of a science as numbers lead everyone to believe. There are aspects of trading, some pertinent and other coming all the way out from left field, that have to be accounted for. As long as this is the case, trading as a business will always be a stupid and incomprehensible all-or-nothing endeavor and if you’re lucky enough to be in-between like I am you will pay for it in ways that will make you question why you can’t get a W-2 job in the first place. Still, I am thankful.

So, this is where I am, but in truth I’ve been here for almost a decade. It was my choice to get into this dumb business and the chickens are coming home to roost.

Is that the right expression?

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