Emergency Room

I couldn’t post at all today because of a medical emergency of someone very close to me. I am just mentally distraught at this point but I will try and keep the normal pace of the blog.

The New York Stock Exchange traded with energy from right out of the gate. I came out positive on the PnL along with positions that I had to feel my way through in both Orange Juice and Feeder Cattle. You just have to know your markets, I suppose.

I am glad and I am thankful for today. Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there.

When you care about someone and they get into a bad predicament, it’s hard to leave everything to God even though that’s the only thing that you can do. The trouble that I have with that is that God will judge and his judgement doesn’t depend on the fervency of your prayers. My wife and family have been supportive and they are doing their best to calm everyone down at the house which has turned into a crisis command center. I have to be as stoic as possible but deep down I am panicking and emotionally wrecked. I just want things to be ok. I hate it how things are fine in one minute and then irreversibly changed the next – I completely hate it.

I’ve been around death too many times to know when its even a remote possibility.

I don’t think I can nor do I want to trade tomorrow although I may just have to pop in and at least look at the cash open. Right now, I can’t even concentrate with all these thoughts crashing in my head.

I feel alone and helpless about this situation.

I’m just in a bad place right now.

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