The New York Stock Exchange started off with some good energy in the morning, however, I am still a bit worried about the spreads on the DOM. What would only be a 5-10 point swing can easily become a 20-25 tick bonanza (ok, I don’t know why I used that word). Anyway, the state of the market necessitates some changes that have to be made – both in risk and expectation. Unfortunately, none of those things done successfully guarantee a winning day; only one where you don’t lose your pants.
I traded Feeder Cattle this morning and through the 4 trades that I made, I came out barely positive on the PnL. I just wasn’t getting a good enough read on the market and I figured to make up for the crappy performance in the cash open. You would think that luck was on my side after moving on from that asset but it was not meant to be. My performance in the cash open could only be likened to the sickly and pathetic cries of a boxcar train living drunkard that drank some weird moonshine and is suffering from bouts of heavy diarrhea – yeah; it was that kind of morning for me. I ended the day very much in the red.
With this week being truncated and signifying yet another span of trading sessions with the cash open being wonky, I got a chance to reflect on how much I regret being in this business. If not for the string of fortunate events that God bestowed on me, I would probably be the most miserable human being on this entire planet. The thing is, trading accounts for a very real and very big part of both – that misery and that fortune. I wish I could say that some catalyst will take me away from me touching both poles of emotional highs and lows but I have learned that it comes with the territory of being an entrepreneur. I would almost give anything to be able to make up a significant part of my salary doing a 9-5 job but that will only trap me in terms of time and time is a very very important thing to me. On Friday’s like this where I end up in the red, I can only hope that I win the lottery so that I’ll never have to fire up this trading software ever again. I wouldn’t want to look at another DOM nor would I want to do some quick math gymnastics regarding risk and capital exposure. I don’t ever want to do that bullshit again because I truly truly hate the almost arbitrary nature of this business.
Nevertheless, I am typing this angry post from the comfort of a central unit ventilated home with ample amounts of food and drink and an Xbox One waiting to be played – I can feel the irony and it is looking at me right in the face. I am thankful, nay extremely grateful, to God for the fortune and luck that I have because that’s the only thing that separates me from the guy stocking inventory at Walmart wondering how he’s going to make his mortgage for the month and keep his wife and kids happy. Life is hard. It would be easy if I could cash in a huge jackpot lottery ticket. The first thing I would do would be to tell trading to suck a big fat schlong.