Buy High, Sell Low, Strangle Yourself

profilepic3The New York Stock Exchange had a good morning in terms of volatility but we are nowhere near the levels of movement that I would be comfortable with to really size up on a daily basis. I feel like my position sizes go on a yo yo diet course and because of it, I am forced to make trades more on a volume basis rather than a choosy type of basis which adds to my already paranoid nature when dealing with this stupid career choice that I made.

Anyway, the cash open was great for me. Even though I wasn’t sized up, there was enough action on the indices where I was able to make up money for the earlier trade. Notice I said make up for. So I traded Feeder Cattle earlier on and got completely slaughtered on 3 round trips. It was bad, really bad. Like I was one of the cows getting slaughtered bad. The only thing that I could do was try and trade out of it but even with an above average performance in the opening bell, I was still red when all was said and done and it wasn’t just the commissions.

So that’s how my day went. Chof-ful of camel feces and now, with a rolling power outages because of a storm, I get spotty internet connection. Wow.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful. I’ll just prep for tomorrow’s market action and hope I do better. It’s just a shitty way to end the month.

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When Things Go Cray Cray

profilepic2The New York Stock Exchange traded ok out of the bell. There were opportunities but I just didn’t capitalize on them as much as I felt like I should have been able to. Coupled with my asset trade performances, I felt like I probably left money on the table. But I can live with today’s results. It is last Thursday and Friday’s that I have to talk about.

I just got into a really crazy scheduling conflict and basically my daily schedule was torn apart as priority after priority hit me in the face. I just could not escape it. Fortunately enough though, Thursday and Friday went well with Thursday being the standout day as cash open trading provided a big boon for me.

What is important now is that I have blogged for today but I can’t help but think about the direction that this blog will go. While I won’t say it was liberating that I didn’t have to blog on those last two days, there is a feeling of pointlessness when I am putting these daily posts out. It’s like “what am I doing this for?” “Why am I doing this?”. When I started, I could answer those questions but now when I ask them again, it doesn’t seem like I can give any definitive answer, even worse, it seems like I don’t care enough about it. I can admit though that whatever novelty there was at the beginning of this blogging experience is gone. I am doing it more as a job than as something I enjoy. But the funny thing is, this job is better than trading. At least here, I can control the output lol.

Anyway, I guess I will have much to think about in the next couple of days. I am thankful but like I always say….fuck this job.

Hump Day

The New York Stock Exchange had another slow morning. I’m thinking of going away again for a shortened week if this trend continues.

I didn’t trade any assets today. Actually, no I did. I did one round trip on Feeder Cattle and incurred a small loss on it. Then I traded the cash open and while things looked promising out of the gates, at the end, I kind of just averaged out and recovered the Feeder Cattle loss along with just enough earnings in the cash open so that I wouldn’t put a gun to my mouth and pull the trigger.

Lots of things to be thankful about but this business ain’t one of them. It’s a cloudy day over here in the East Coast. Perfect for watching YouTube videos while waiting for the wife to come home with catered dinner or playing some Halo to pass the time until then.

The Mother Of All Break Even Days

RooftoRunThe New York Stock Exchange traded a little choppy coming out of the gate. I didn’t see any big news other than the fallout from the tweetstorm that erupted when Iran’s government implied that they could unleash “the mother of all wars” against us. I think it’s cool that The President tweeted back but I would have left the all caps out as it made it look a little too extra.

Took a few trades on Orange Juice today and two round trips on Cocoa. None of the trades worked out particularly well and when it came time to size up my performance, I didn’t really do as well as I thought I did. I mean, it was productive in the minimal sense of the word but I feel like I could have done better. I had a feeling it was going to be like this in the cash open and my feelings were spot on the money. The only reason that I managed to compile a decent PnL number was because I was sized up to the maximum amount of contracts I could trade. If I wasn’t, I’d have probably wasted my time trading the open. Here’s the thing: when you’re trading uphill like that, trying to come away with something, it tends to feel like unless you’ve made a good amount of money, you’ve just broken even. That’s how I felt after trying to control the ship that is my stupid career choice of trading. Am I glad that I made money? Of course. However, I’m not in this dumb business just to break even. If I wanted to break even to survive I would have gone into cattle ranching. I’m in this business to become a millionaire.

It’s a beautiful day today. The wife and I had lunch at our neighbor’s place and we got to do a little pool time which got me thinking if we should get a pool ourselves. It’s a big expenditure so I’ll have to check what financing deals are out there. I think that would complete the house but I’d sure hate to lose a lot of the backyard even though I’d have to clear out some bushes way in the back to make up for the amount of land lost. Anyway, it’s a nice day. I’m glad I can even think about things like this. On to the next day.

Slowwww

The New York Stock Exchange was particularly slow this day.

I did not get off a trade that was significant in any way. I traded Wheat in the morning and couldn’t make any dough out of it. Get it? Hehe. Then the cash open was just molasses. There was nothing I could have done.

I’m going to nap. I’m tired. It was a crappy day with commissions putting me in the red.

Happy Endings

prof7The New York Stock Exchange traded pretty well this morning, as it did yesterday morning when I had forgotten to post.

Yesterday’s performance was ass. I traded small size in Wheat but couldn’t get a positive PnL there and the cash open was where I really shit the bed. It was pretty much carnage for my PnL. Not my worst day of the year mind you but bad enough for me to consider what life would be like if I decided to become an HVAC technician. Fortunately, today’s trading allowed me to put that to the wayside and again – like some idiot child – think of the possibilities of becoming a multimillionaire in this stupid trading business.

I was about to not trade the open after trading well on Wheat again but I did it, hesitatingly because – well – you just have to. It’s my job and it’s what my portfolio was built for. While I didn’t size up to max capacity, the number of trades and winners was enough for me to build a sizeable PnL. I was probably at more than half capacity for my capital risks and on days with good moves, that really helps you. Combined with my trades on Wheat, I was able to secure a good payday for today (ending this horrid week), while effectively nullifying the effects of the last three trading sessions. Things like this helps to keep your mind positive.

I don’t believe in hollow victories, nor do I subscribe to moral wins. In this camel shit business, it’s either you make money or you don’t. I’m thankful to God but boy, if I could win the lottery that would be great.

Uphill Climb

profilepic3The New York Stock Exchange had a pretty slow morning. This was a shame because I really needed some fast action after how I had sh*t the bed in yesterday’s trading performance. Lots going on today in the market but I have to say that Morgan Stanley’s beating estimates is a pretty big deal. This means that there is, in the very least, something going on in the financial sector and that companies need banking services. Anyway, on to trading:

I traded Wheat this morning and managed to get myself into a deep hole after three failed trades. This is what made the difference in the day and it proved to be too deep of a hole to get out of mentally. I thought that I could at least get some money back in the cash open but when New York opened up, I got slaughtered. I just didn’t know which way I was going and add to that me sizing up on 3 trades with 2 of them not going my way, my whole day was as horrible as horrible could be.

I’m pretty tired. I’m miserable with this dumb job but at the same time I’m thankful that I know when to just get up and walk away. Like I always say, you can always salvage a part of your day by being a decent human being and not letting trading problems infect your household. That’s the aim of the game now. That and – of course – to get ready for tomorrow’s action. I gotta make up for the lost cash.