I Hate This Fucking Job!!!!

The New York Stock Exchange traded aggressively out of the gate this morning. Too bad because I completely defecated myself in the pursuit of trying to make money. I didn’t trade any assets this morning because there was nothing of note to watch. This left me with only the cash open to pin my hopes on.

Things were going awesome at first. I was locked in and I was ready. My amazing masculinity was centered on my right index finger ready to click on the mouse button to lock in prices. My eyes were like a hawk – seriously – looking at the price moves on the DOM. In quick succession, like a goddamned hero cowboy I locked in profits like shootin’ bad guys off the roof of the main hall building.

*Boom!

*Boom!

*Boom!

Oh yeah. Cash. Rules. Everything. Around. Me. bizzzznaaaaatchhhhh

But then came the downfall. In just as quick succession, my trading acumen left me and because I sized up I ended up giving back a third of a not so wow but not so subpar PnL because I went from cool cowboy to el stupido.

I hate this job.

But today is warm. warm enough so that I can go out wearing my sleeveless t-shirts and jeans. I wish I had a mullet…and a cool mustache. Then I could wait out in the parking lot where my wife works and lean up against the truck staring at her seductively like the rock star I am. Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll do, you know…minus the ‘stache and the mullet.

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